"'If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where all these profits came from, and why all these acquisitions went sour, what our net income is, and why WorldCom stock prices are in the toilet, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me. . ." So begins the opening paragraph of the winning submission in the "Best Fictional Earnings Release Contest," sponsored by Gregory FCA, an investor and public relations firm, based in Ardmore, PA.