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Good article, but poorly written

Submitted by Rose W (not verified) on July 10, 2013 - 12:11am.

I don't understand why, in the middle of this article, you inserted the following paragraph:

- TransCanada, which is a member of ALEC, sponsored ALEC's Spring Task Force Summit in Oklahoma City in May 2013, alongside other corporations with tar sands interests including BP, Devon Energy and Koch Industries. TransCanada's Vice President Corey Goulet presented to legislators at the conference during a session called "Embracing American Energy Opportunities." -

This paragraph is confusing because it has nothing to do with the trip in Oct. 2012. The last sentence is poorly written, as you wrote "...Goulet presented to legislators...". Presented what? "Presented" is a verb with no subject here. This is not proper English.

Even worse, is the error in the following paragraph:

- Dimon stayed in touch with Adams' office over the proceeding months, providing his staff with further materials about Keystone XL, including a set of talking points stamped with the TransCanada logo.-

"Proceeding" is glaringly incorrect. The word you wanted was "preceding", except that you really were referring to the months after, which is "succeeding". "Ensuing", "subsequent" or "following", would also have been good choices.

You really should use a dictionary and a grammar book before you submit your articles. Is there a proofreader at PRWatch? If not, I would consider the job.

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